Gentleness, a Soothing Touch for the Soul

“Let your gentleness be evident to all.” Philippians 4:5 NIV

When I think of gentleness, I think of something soothing or calm like a gentle breeze or kind-hearted person or sweet words spoken to a baby. My husband and I were blessed with our first grandchild seven months ago and it is so nice to witness the way different family members interact with him. My husband’s eyes light up as soon as he sees Dawson. He smiles sweetly at him and the sound of his voice automatically changes to a warm, happy, higher pitched voice reserved especially for babies. Dawson loves this interaction and smiles and wiggles his arms and legs with excitement. My 19-year-old son, on the other hand, is new to being around babies and approaches Dawson, differently. He will come in the room stare at him, stick out his tongue a few times and say nothing or say “what are you doing?” He does not change his voice at all and waits for the baby’s reaction. The other day when this interaction occurred, Dawson slowly gave a half smile to him and then looked around the room awkwardly like “why doesn’t he talk to me like grandpa? Ummm, what do I do?” After a few minutes, we all laughed amazed at the baby’s perception of the different approach from his uncle. When he saw us smile and laugh the baby relaxed and started smiling broadly too.

The way we approach adults and children alike is very important. If a seven-month-old baby can pick up on clues in posture, tone of voice and facial expression you better believe others can too! Researchers say it takes less than a minute for someone to form an opinion about what type of person we are. Our attitude is felt by body language and speech. Our words and tone give clues to our feelings and agenda. I want to take this a step further as we think about our words when we speak to our family and friends. Is gentleness evident in your words and your tone? One of my own weak areas in my Christian life has been how I speak to my kids and my husband when I am tired or mad. Those words and reactions to their simple questions do not always exude gentleness. The Bible tells us that “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouth of a fool gushes folly.” (Proverbs 15:1-2 NIV)

It is so easy in the heat of the moment to let words fly. It is when we are careless with our words that we hurt those we care about the most. Sometimes we don’t even realize that we are being so hurtful and mean to our family or friends until we have already caused the damage. Think about it. Do we yell at the kids the same way we yell at the dog? Do we respectively speak to our husbands the same way we speak to our boss or our father? Ouch! I know, that one hurts me too! Do we radiate the same gentleness we feel at church into the lives of our family in and in our homes? Gentleness does not happen overnight. It occurs as we grow in our relationship with the LORD and as we submit to his correction.

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.” Galatians 5:22-25 NIV

Dear LORD Jesus, help me with my words and my tone of voice. Help me to take captive the bad thoughts and words that fly through my mind. Holy Spirit, filter my thoughts before they become harmful words and help me to exude gentleness in all I do.  I want to draw closer to you and grow spiritually so that the fruit of the Spirit are evident in my life. Amen.